Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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