oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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