He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
