And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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