So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
