How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
