my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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