Ketchup is God's man juice
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
