Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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