you're like a bully in the Christmas story
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Blood and glitter go together right?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
