everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
