I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
