So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Fuck appropriateness.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
