Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize