thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Will you blow on my dice?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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