just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
How's work?
Spinning.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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