We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I need a beard to bite.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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