My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
