dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
