is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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