weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
