Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
