Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
only if we run a train.
done.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
