apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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