sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
