Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
