I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
