Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
