do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize