I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
