Nicole vs. Life
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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