My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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