It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Me. At least after what I've been through.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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