oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
