Buhtt sex?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize