so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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