she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You're a waste of cheezeits
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
