i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
