I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
