I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
