its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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