I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
