we're chasing vodka with high fives
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize