i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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