Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Church boner. Awkwardddd
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize