I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
