He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
vagina is talking i cant
she pinky promised me she was 18
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
