Porn is love you can see.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
