One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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