As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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