i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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