I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How's work?
Spinning.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
