so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
