would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
