I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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