how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
